Daily Task and Rules

I thought that this would be a good post to get me back into writing.  Especially since a lot of the reason I have not been able to blog is because of my daily tasks. 

Why are Rules and Daily Tasks such a vital part of a D/s dynamic?  Well...how the fuck else would the s/type know what is expected of them!  

Just so you understand how I differentiate between tasks and rules:

Tasks: s/type is to complete a task or chore.  Example: Must wear butt plug to bed. 

Rules:  s/type and how they should behave.  Example:  May not talk to any other D/type without owners permission.

First lets talk about Daily Tasks:

I do not believe a D/type should assign so many tasks that the s/type cannot reasonably get them done.  In our D/s dynamic my daily tasks are:

1. I am to send a selfie every morning to Sir.
2. I am to make the bed every morning.
3. I am to make sure laundry is washed and dried daily.
4. I am to make sure that dinner is cooked. 
5. I am to have all dishes washed before I go to bed.

These are the ones that are set in stone. Each morning though I ask Sir what else needs to be accomplished for that day.  Sometimes He adds stuff and sometimes He doesn't.

I try to get all of my tasks that He has set done before I work on my business or here on my blog.  If I fail to get a task finished than there is punishment but that is a topic for another day.

Here are some tasks that I find intriguing, but are not apart of my dynamic:

1. Must inform D/type of all daily plans.
2. Tell/Text/Email D/type one thing you love about yourself daily.
3. s/type needs to reach orgasm once a day.
4. s/type needs to masturbate almost to the point of orgasm then stop.
5. s/type to sleep with a butt plug in. 

On to rules (which is going to be kinda short):

To be quite honest We really do not have many "rules" in place, even though I wish We did have a few more.  Rules should be set into place so the s/type should know how they are to behave in every setting.  I whole heatedly believe that rules need to be established from day one of the relationship.   

Here are the very few actual rules of ours:

1. I am not allowed to talk to other D/types unless it pertains to my business or I have permission. 
2. I am to answer with "Yes Sir" or "No Sir". 

Each dynamic is different, and will have its own set of rules/tasks. 

I want to hear what your tasks/rules are so leave them in the comments!

XOXOXO
Mattie

My Kinky Bucketlist

The last couple of blog post have really been a mental struggle for me, this one will be more on the fun side and super short. 

Here is a list of stuff I want to try. I will update it as I add more or try them.

Abrasion

Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)

Bondage (heavy)

Branding

Breath control

Bull Whip

Caning

Scarification

Straight jackets

Suspension

Yes I know there is not much there but I am sure I will find more stuff to add soon!

XOXOXO
Mattie

Raising Children in a BDSM Household....and why I do it.

Just a FYI this will be a shorter post than most will be.  And if you have something judgemental to say about how we are raising our kids keep it to yourself because I don't give a damn what you think.

I got asked a couple of questions the other day about how I handle being a submissive and a mother, and the simple answer is I have no fucking clue how I do it but I somehow make it all work, of course with the help of my Sir (who is the little humans Dad).

Another part of the question was how do I separate lifestyle time with normal time.  Well with Sir and I it is 24/7 so the little humans see a lot, such as me saying Yes Sir, kneeling beside His chair when He asks, they also see me doing as I am asked (most of the time without question).  They also see me just being a normal wife and mother doing the laundry, cooking, and just making sure the normal everyday things are done.  I feel by them seeing what we allow them to see, will help teach them respect.  I am trying to keep my kids from growing up to be assholes!

Even though Sir and I sometimes do not agree on certain rules we try to keep each others ideas in mind.  When it comes to raising children it takes both parties to contribute. 

They will NEVER see me being punished, they will never see me being degraded, they will never see the darker side of our relationship.

All of the X rated stuff goes on behind closed doors or when they are not around.  If for some reason He decides He wants to play around or I deserve a punishment, and the little humans are awake, they know not to come in our room if the door is shut. And I also know that I must be super quite...which by the way is like a punishment in itself.  If they need us while we are doing our thing they know they must knock and that I will help them with whatever they need or if I am already in lala land <also known as subspace> that Sir steps in and takes care of it.

I want my daughter to grow up a strong, confident, beautiful lady who knows her worth. At the same time I want her to know that when she finds the man she will call her husband that HE is the head of the house.  I want her to find a man who will treat her like a goddess and cherish her with everything within him.

For my son, I want him to be an amazing provider, I want him to know that his place is as head of the house.  I want him to find a woman who values his hard work, and how he cares and provides for them.

My hope is that by them seeing Our dynamic that it will create in them something wonderful, something that the youth of today has lost, RESPECT, Loyalty, & Dignity.  I want them to be a help to society not a burden.

XOXOXO
Mattie

Pain and why I crave it...

I am a masochist and I crave pain.  I crave pain because I believe I deserve it.  I believe in some sick twisted way that I have done something in this life to deserve pain.  

I crave physical pain to drown out the emotional pain that I have endured.  You might sit there and think oh this bitch is full of it how can someone who is only in their 20's have had so much emotional pain to feel this way.  

Well let me tell you.  At 16 I found out I was pregnant with my first child.  He was born 100% healthy, and at 3 weeks old he passed away. A child I carried within me for 9 months, gone, just like that.  You try doing CPR on your child and see what it does to you.  I can still remember that like it was yesterday.  It haunts my dreams.  

I have watched so many people who I loved die.  You say it is just a part of life and everyone sees it.  True it is, but with each loved ones passing a part of my heart went with them.  I love deep and the pain of losing these people sometimes is more than I can bare.

On the days it is to hard for my brain to process my emotions I crave physical pain.  The sting of the belt, the thud of the paddle, takes away the memories, even if but for a moment it takes them away.  It transports me to a place where I do not feel anything but each hit my Sir gives me.  Each swing of the paddle washing over me, drowning out all other pain. 

I just really needed to get this off of my chest.  I am here having a rough day.  Trying to balance being a wife, a submissive, a mother, and a business owner, and the past couple of days it has really taken a toll on me.

XOXOXO

Mattie

What is Your definition of submission?

I want to not only have a place to release what is in my brain, but a place for people to come and learn along with me.  I read a post the other day in a group I am in about the definition of submission and what it means.  I am sure that to each person it has a different meaning and I would like to share what it means to me.  I will be dissecting the actual meaning of the word submission and showing you how it applies to my life as a submissive and what I have learned through research. 

According to Websters dictionary submission means:

1. a :  a legal agreement to submit to the decision of arbitrators 

   b :  an act of submitting something (as for consideration         or inspection); also :  something submitted (as a manuscript) 

2.   :  the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant 

3.   :  an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

For the sake of what we are talking about we will only look at numbers 2 and 3. 

To get started I want to look at a few words.  The first being "humble".  According to Websters it means not arrogant or assertive; you do not think you are better than other people.  

Being submissive, you should be humble.  You do not want to be going around making other people think that you are a bad ass submissive (even though you very well maybe). I am very guilty of doing this.  I enjoy bragging about the ass beating I took, or the list of chores I got accomplished that day.  However, this behavior in all reality should not be tolerated in certain settings, and I will be working to improve on this. 

Before you go thinking this bitch has flipped her shit, and she isn't going to talk about it at all...WRONG!  I will talk about it but in a different setting.  Instead of telling anyone who will give me 10 seconds to spill my guts, I will only be letting it out to a select few of my friends who are submissives as well.  We all need a safe place to vent for fucks sake.

The next word I want to look at is "assertive" which means
having a bold or confident manner.  To be "humble" you cannot be "assertive"; at least that is how the dictionary puts it.  Regardless of what your place is in the BDSM world you should be confident! I don't give a fuck if you consider your self a damn pig or Master you should be confident! However, here is where it gets tricky though. 

However, being confident and being humble at the same time can be fucking tricky.  You want to be confident you are doing all you can to please your D type, but at the same time you do not want to be boastful about it.  In other words own your shit but don't think it smells like roses.  You also want to be confident in your appearance.  Yea that may sound shallow, but you need to rock what ever you got, flaws and all.  Heaven knows I have many, many flaws. 

On to the last word, compliant, which means: willing to do whatever you are asked or ordered to do; ready and willing to comply; agreeing with a set of rules, standards, or requirement.  This should be a no brainer for someone who is wanting to be a submissive right?  Wrong! Not everyone is automatically compliant. This is another issue I struggle with because I am fucking stubborn.  I have the tendency to question why?  Why do you want me to do this; why do I have to do that; why are you doing it that way.  All of those questions have spewed out of my mouth to Sir at one point or another and still do.  Not because I question His authority, but because I have been one to ask questions since I can remember.  I try to quickly catch myself and apologize in most cases. 

There are some instances that I do question, again not because I doubt His authority, because I am purely interested in His thought process.  And then there are the times I ask questions because I flat out do not want to do what is asked.  Like I said not everyone is born compliant, me being one of those.

My original question is what is your definition of submission? My answer to this would be: Every one's idea of submission is different, and varies within each dynamic.  A few things remain constant though.  Every submissive should be humble.  Do not be boastful about anything in your life or your dynamic.  Be confident!  If you are confident in yourself either with how you are doing as a submissive and also as a human.  Be compliant.  If your Dom ask you to do something....fucking do it.  I know sometimes life gets in the way but if He gives you a task get it done in a timely manner!  For those of you who are naturally compliant...kudos to you!  For those of you like me....well maybe we need a fucking support group for mouthy bitches HAHAHA...let us try to not be so fucking stubborn and just do as we are told.  

My short definition of submission: be humble, yet confident.  Be bold and beautiful, yet ready to serve.  As hard as it may be do as you are told with out doubt.

Now that you have read through my ideas...what are yours? 

XOXOXO

Mattie

My Little Slice of the Internet

Hey y'all!  I have decided to start blogging about my journey, simply because I need a way to express myself and thought you might all enjoy seeing the world of BDSM through my eyes.

When most people think about BDSM they think of dark rooms, chains, whips, and all the darker aspects of it.  Don't get me wrong all of those are apart of the culture but there is a lot more to it and that is what people need to see.

To begin I guess the best place to start is more about me.  I am a 20 something, wife, mother, daughter, friend, business owner, and submissive.  I have been married to the love of my life for 10 years and we have two wonderful little humans we created.

My submissiveness actually began a long time before I even knew about BDSM. It really started when Hubby and I started dating. Our relationship moved really fast at the beginning.  We started "dating" April 8, 2005 and He moved in with me five days later, and at the time I was 17. From the time we started dating, I only wanted to make Him happy.  I wanted to be the girlfriend/lover that He needed, which by the way I sucked at.

Here is a little background info about Him. He was raised "old" school, the women stayed home and tended the house, raised the kids, and just generally did what ever the "Man" of the house said without ever questioning it.  He was raised to be a "Dominate" man even without the knowledge of what BDSM was. 

So here I was a 17 year old girl who wanted to make a guy, who is a "Dominate" person by nature, happy by all means necessary, but yet at the same time I was stubborn, hard headed, didn't listen, and still wanted to live my life, make my own choices, and do as I pleased. Him and I, both still in our teens, did the best we could. We fought hard, but loved harder.  No one thought we would ever make it, but boy did we prove them wrong.

Fast forward to today...as I am sitting here reflecting and typing about the past, I see all my flaws and imperfections, most of which I am still working on because, I am human after all.  We have just recently re-entered a Dominate/submissive dynamic and I am more determined than ever to be the submissive wife that He needs. 

How we have ever made it this far is beyond me, but here is to another 10 years.

XOXOXO
Mattie